Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
