He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
