so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
