Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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