This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
