A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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