That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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