Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
