even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
