ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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