Plan B is the new Plan A
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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