so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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