I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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