I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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