TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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