And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
