oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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