i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Randomize
