the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
