Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
This is the high leading the old right now
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
