Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
