He disabled his match.com account in front of me
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
