Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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