No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
