dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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