I think I just saw someone hide a body.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I just googled if crying burns calories
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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