This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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