yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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