hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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