i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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