I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
