do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
