would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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