I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
