My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize