Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
