so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
