I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
