I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
