whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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