Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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