Can i not drive my cunt home
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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