turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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