I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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