hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize