There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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