He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
