yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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