but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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