He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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