so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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