at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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