ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
