i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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