He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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