I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize