Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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