I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize