this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
