You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
