Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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