He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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