Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize