I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Oh god it's open bar.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
