cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Help. Why am I so naked?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
