"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
