Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
false alarm. still invincible.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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