Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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